so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
