What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
