I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
