plz talk dirty to me
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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