honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
