Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
