but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
