i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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