Why are handjobs necessary in class?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
