In the future we'll all be gay
I CAN MOONWALK!
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
