just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
