I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
