we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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