Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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