would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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