i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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