Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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