Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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