I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
