I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
