I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
