my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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