you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
