I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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