i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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