im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
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