Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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