I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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