Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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