Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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