I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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