i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
