I don't think brook has ever known best
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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