He asked to "fluff my boner.."
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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