she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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