Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
