Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
