ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
