Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
