I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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