I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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