What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
