i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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