Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
