U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Randomize
