Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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