My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
