I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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