addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
