Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
